Go MAVS!!!

Lakers 95

MAVS 114!!!!!

I love my Mavs!! They are awesome! There were some amazing plays tonight, and we deserved that win!! 33-8 so far this season and we're only half-way through. This is our year to win it all...I can feel it!!!

Has it really been a year?!?

A year ago today I began one of the best adventures of my life so far.

My bags were packed, and I anxiously awaited...oh, about now so that I could head to the airport where I was meeting my best friend and her family. The time had come, Emily and I were heading out to see the world. We had left our jobs, moved back to Texas from Los Angeles, we had warm clothes, a Eurorail pass, plane tickets, and our passports. We were ready to take on the world.

A year ago today I left the United States for 2 months backpacking through Europe with my best friend. A year ago today...I found myself on a plane to London, England. A year ago today, I never would have imagined that my life would be like it is today...a year later. A year ago today I found a part of myself I never really knew was there.

I miss a year ago today.

I'm glad to be where I am now. There is nothing I would change. I love the people (friends and family) who surround me, I love what I am studying in school, I love the churches I am a part of, I love the God experiences that I had all over Europe. And while, I'm not 100% certain who it is that I am today...I like what I am learning about myself...

A year ago today...as much as I like where I am...I can't help but wish I was jetting off today to foreign lands...to find myself, and God around the world.

Pondering

why do i do this?

sometimes i feel like a bad person even though I'm not doing anything wrong.

I wonder why that is.

Is it really wrong to try and be friends with someone when you know they want more? Funny how I can ask this and at the same time be both people in the situation with different guys. Makes me want to re-evaluate what I am doing, and really think about why...

School

HOORAY for school starting tomorrow!!!

I am so excited. Life is getting back to normal. Anne is home, and my first class tomorrow has 90% of my friends in it!! What more could you ask for?

Ice Ice Ice

Well, because of the iciness of the roads, I've decided not to go into work, even though they are showing it is ok to drive on the roads if you go really slow. I'm just really nervous about driving in it...cuz well, yeah, I don't EVER drive on ice. Yikes! I really need the money, but I really don't need anything to happen to my car...and I'd rather be safe than sorry, even if it does mean I'm going to be broke. Haha.

So, now I am going to go back to bed...I love sleeping late (even if I've gotten up early I can now sleep again).

Another Rant...

So I left Austin a day early because of impending weather. Well, I guess the weather hit a little bit, at least enough to make bridges and overpasses not safe to drive on. But, the rest of the roads are fine. But, because the bridges and overpasses are not safe (at least for us Texans who aren't used to winter weather) I am currently missing a party that is a joint birthday party for Tina, Chase, and I. UGH. I hate my life today.

And I'm missing HIM like crazy...and I didn't even call him today even though I wanted to...I'm just a chicken sometimes. I'm so afraid to show my emotions because too often I have been rejected because of me saying my feelings. He is different. I know that. But why am I still scared to say anything, or ask the question that I want to know most? Is it really the fear of his reaction...or my own fear of exposing myself to myself...If I don't ask him, I can pretend that I don't actually feel the way I do. However, if I put myself out there...its not just to get answers from him, but its me making myself be accountable for my own feelings. I don't know that I need this...not at all. But, do I really have a choice?

Sometimes I hate the Weather

Austin = AMAZING.

The weather that made me have to leave Austin a day early = EVIL.

I love Austin Texas. It is a city that is alive and fun. It is also a city that houses someone I care deeply for. Actually, a few someones...but I'm talking about one inparticular today. This is someone who I can sit in silence with and watch a classic movie, or yell at a football game with...or have a conversation so deep it gives you chills and ten minutes later we're laughing about something as random as farts. Its interesting...this connection. Its interesting because somehow at the end of this amazing weekend where we laid in bed watching movies and tv for hours, to having some drinks with friends, to walking the dog and making dinner...I was still referred to as the 'friend'. *sigh*. I should not let myself get wrapped up in things...it never fails that my heart gets stung a little bit. Not broken, cuz I don't let myself go completely...not this soon, but stung...cuz it always hurts to hear that when you've had a weekend that felt like so much more. I don't know where I stand on the issue. Actually...I know he feels the same way...but perhaps distance is the issue on that one? I could just ask him...but I'm scared, I'm scared of what answer the asking will bring. Am I ready for that? Are we ever REALLY ready?

I played disc golf today for the first time since my freshman year in HS. It was a BLAST. I need to play that more, seriously. Then maybe next time I go play with those guys I won't suck quite as bad as I did. But it was fun. There was this one hole, that when you step up at the beginning of it you get this perfect view of the Capital building sticking out of the trees. Breathtaking I tell ya. So I want to play here. I bet I can get Anne to go...and Katie too, although I don't know WHERE to play around here...but I bet it can't be that hard to figure out. And then there is that whole thing of buying supplies...hm...I shall look into this more for sure though. Good times.