So I left Austin a day early because of impending weather. Well, I guess the weather hit a little bit, at least enough to make bridges and overpasses not safe to drive on. But, the rest of the roads are fine. But, because the bridges and overpasses are not safe (at least for us Texans who aren't used to winter weather) I am currently missing a party that is a joint birthday party for Tina, Chase, and I. UGH. I hate my life today.
And I'm missing HIM like crazy...and I didn't even call him today even though I wanted to...I'm just a chicken sometimes. I'm so afraid to show my emotions because too often I have been rejected because of me saying my feelings. He is different. I know that. But why am I still scared to say anything, or ask the question that I want to know most? Is it really the fear of his reaction...or my own fear of exposing myself to myself...If I don't ask him, I can pretend that I don't actually feel the way I do. However, if I put myself out there...its not just to get answers from him, but its me making myself be accountable for my own feelings. I don't know that I need this...not at all. But, do I really have a choice?
1 comment:
Unfortunately we can't choose who we fall in love with.. and I'm guessing that's what you're referring to? And it IS hard to throw your feelings out there and risk rejection.
Maybe for now you could be happy that he's your friend and then see how things play out..? Hard to do, I know.
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