Song of the Day

Currently I'm in a really weird mood and missing my best friend. I wish Easter wasn't so far away...although, this song has nothing to do with her...she introduced me to this band, and this song is awesome, and I suppose somewhat fitting to my life.

I Need
Jay Quinn Band

Take these walls,
The fences I've erected,
Tear them down,
Let the corner stone fall,
And are you sure,
Those questions that you're asking,
are you set
For the answers I give.

It's your turn
To let me in your thoughts,
And risk it all,
All that's vulnerable
and as I dig
Through all your little secrets,
Don't be scared about the things I'll find.

CHORUS:
Does anybody know you?
Does anybody want you?
Does anybody love like I do?
Does anybody need you?
Does anybody care?
I promise I will.

I won't judge,
I'm not looking for perfection
I am sure,
The truth is beautiful
And will you run,
Through all that I'm exposing
Will it satisfy all your fears?

Does anybody know you?
Does anybody want you?
Does anybody love like I do?
Does anybody need you?
Does anybody care?
I promise I will.

I said I've heard it all before
It depends on what side you're on
You say I'm outside lookin in
But don't think I know how it feels to be forsaken.

Does anybody know you?
Does anybody want you?
Does anybody love like I do?
Does anybody need you?
Does anybody care?
I promise I will.
Does anybody know you?
Does anybody want you?
Does anybody love like I do?
Does anybody need you?
Does anybody care?
I promise I will.

Baby's Firsts

I witnessed the most amazing thing today! Skylar sat up for the first time by herself! She was laying back and we turned on a Praise Baby DVD and she got all excited and sat forward to watch it better then stayed sitting! I don't think she even realized that she did it! It was SO awesome. It is so weird, its not even my child, and I'm as excited as her mom at all her firsts. I guess I do spend a lot of time with her as well. Strange how much she has changed in the last 3 months, absolutely amazing.

Photo 365

So, my awesome friend KJack told me about this project where you post a picture a day for 365 days....to document your whole life. Anyhow...if you want to check it out...you can find it here. It's fun! So here's to seeing how I see my life over the next year.

Song of the Day

Into the Ocean

Blue October

I'm just a normal boy

That sank when I fell overboard

My ship would leave the country

But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life that's sadly stuck again

Wish I was much more masculine

Maybe then I could learn to swim

Like 'fourteen miles away'

You're floating up and down

I spin, colliding into sound

Like whales beneath me diving down

I'm sinking to the bottom of my

Everything that freaks me out

The lighthouse beam has just run out

I'm cold as cold as cold can be

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard

I keep looking each direction

For a spotlight, give me something

I need something for protection

Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine

The jets, I'm sunk, I'm left behind

I'm treading for my life believe me

(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think

I scream aloud, begin to sink

My legs and arms are broken down

With envy for the solid ground

I'm reaching for the life within me

How can one man stop his ending

I thought of just your face

Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun

I calculate what I had done

Like jumping from the bow (yeah)

Just to prove I knew how (yeah)

It's midnight's late reminder of

The loss of her, the one I love

My will to quickly end it all

So thought no end my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all

Into the ocean, end it all

Into the ocean, end it all

into the ocean...end it all

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

(In to space)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

(I thought of just your face)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

just another day...

So I was talking to my mom today about some of my thoughts on stuff that happened last night...and she understood why I thought it was weird. She did too. That made me feel less petty somehow. I don't know...its still just strange.

I still haven't talked to boy since Sunday night. It really just makes me sad...I miss him. I know he's busy and he has other stuff...but why didn't he call on my birthday? And he still hasn't called today?!? That sucks!!! Oh well...I guess that's life. The problem is, I'm too scared to say anything because I don't want to mess anything up with him, but if he really cares for me, that wouldn't mess things up. I'm sure something came up...have i ever said how much I hate distance? Because I do.

ANYHOW...Classes today were...good I suppose. I got some really good feedback on the prayer I had to write for my worship class...that made me feel good, especially because I thought it was kind of weak. I'm still not 100% sure how someone can grade a prayer...but I suppose I'll find out!

I'm in kind of an annoyed/cynical mood at the moment...I should snap out of it. No really, I should.

I did find out just now that we are doing the tri-birthday bash on Saturday night to make up for the night of the ice storm! YAY!! And Lindsay is going to make cake...and we are going to have an awesome time. I'm very excited. As long as we don't get any winter mixture this weekend, I'm good to go.

Song of the Day

Hm...in honor of one of my oldest friends sending me an AWESOME CD of songs from our childhood days...

Step By Step

New Kids on the Block

Step by step

Gonna get to you girl

Chorus:Step by step ooh baby

Gonna get to you girl

Step by step ooh baby

Really want you in my world

Hey girl in your eyes

I see a picture of me all the time

And girl when you smile

You got to know that you drive me wild

Step by step

Ooh baby

Youre always on my mind

Step by step

Ooh girl

I really think its just a matter of time

Chorus

Hey girl cant you see

Ive got to have you all just for me

And girl yes its true

No one else will ever do

Chorus

Step one

We can have lots of fun

Step two

Theres so much we can do

Step three

Its just you and me

Step four

I can give you more

Step five

Dont you know the time has arrived

Today

So...Today was my 25th birthday. Well, Jan. 29 was anyway, guess I kind of missed that mark now, but I shall continue to pretend it is still my day. Spent my day with Skylar...I love that little girl...she is absolutely amazing and beautiful. Doesn't like green beans...so don't give them to her. She was just not fun after she had them. She also doesn't like peas...but those she throws up almot immediately. No green veggies for her!

Went to dinner and to Flying Saucer with friends tonight to celebrate. It was a good time. More people came out than I expected, which is a good feeling.

The one person I REALLY wanted a phone call from, I didn't get...and one that I wasn't overly expecting...I got. Funny how that works. And funny how they are best friends. Go figure. So feeling let down right now, but trying not to let it bring me down.

I'm 25...how weird. A quarter of a century...half way to 50...just seems strange. How is it possible that I am 25...so often I still feel like that 17 year old girl who is just starting my independent life. In a lot of ways I am still that girl...but in so many others, I'm nothing like her. Hm...yeah.

Lots to look forward to this week....it should be good.

Song of the Day

Well, today is Sunday...and I have church tonight, so I thought one of my favorite praise songs is appropriate for today.

Undignified

David Crowder Band

I will dance

I will sing

To be mad

For my King

Nothing Lord

Is hindering

This passion in my soul

Chorus:And I'll become

Even more undignified than this

Some may say

It's foolishness

But I'll become

Even more undignified than this

Leave my pride

By my side

And I'll become

Even more undignified than this

Some may sayIt's foolishness

But I'll become

Even more undignified than this

Than this

La, la, la, la, la, HEY!

La, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la, HEY!

La, la, la, la, la

It's all for You my Lord!

Bliss

Yesterday morning started very early. I woke up at 8am on my own, my migraine still with me. Which was annoying in itself. However, I had a busy day planned and tried not to let that mess with me too much. I spent the next few hours cleaning my room and doing laundry and such. SUCH a good feeling to have a very clean room. There are a few more things that I need to do, but...for the most part, I'm loving it. =o)

The afternoon found me with some friends at the movie Catch and Release, which was fairly awesome...I love those kind of movies. Especially when they end they way I want them to! haha. It was good.

Then my parents came bearing gifts!! YAY! So my new bed frame is all set up, and I got some really nice new sheets to go with it. It was blissful to sleep in! Simply blissful!

Talked to the boy yesterday and made plans for another trip down to Austin to see him! Yay! I wish he could come up here, but that is just harder. He will though! The first weekend in March. So, I'll see him 3 out of 4 weekends starting right after Valentines Day! I'm going to get spoiled! But, that is the kind of spoiled I like to be. Maybe we'll figure out exactly what we are/what we want to be. The distance is the hardest part...

Today is going to be good. I feel it.

Song of the Day

So, I love music and I feel certain songs on certain days...they just get stuck in my head and I can't get them to go away. But that's ok!! So, I've decided to share a song of the day...

Today is: It's A Great Day To Be Alive by Travis Tritt

I got rice cooking in the microwave

Got a three day beard I don't plan to shave

And it's a goofy thing but I just gotta say

Hey I'm doing alright

Yeah I think I'll make me some homemade soup

Feelin pretty good and that's the truth

It's neither drink nor drug induced

No I'm just doin alright

And it's a great day to be alive

I know the sun's still shinin when I close my eyes

There's some hard times in the neigborhood

But why can't every day be just this good?

It's been fifteen years since I left home

Said good luck to every seed I'd sown

Give it my best and then I left it alone

Oh...I hope their doin alright

Now I look in the mirror and what do I see?

A lone wolf there starin back at me

Long in the tooth but harmless as can be

Lord I guess he's doin alright

And it's a great day to be alive

I know the sun's still shinin when I close my eyes

There's some hard times in the neigborhood

But why can't every day be just this good?

Sometimes it's lonely

Sometimes it's only me

And the shadows that fill this room

Sometimes I'm fallin

Desperately callin

Howlin at the moon...

Ahwoo!

Ahwoo!

Well I might go get me a new tattoo

Or take my old Harley for a three day cruise

Might even grow me a Fu Man Chu...

Oh Aww!

And it's a great day to be alive

I know the sun's still shinin when I close my eyes

There's some hard times in the neigborhood

But why can't every day be just this good?

And it's a great day to be alive

I know the sun's still shinin when I close my eyes

There's some hard times in the neigborhood

But why can't every day be just this good?

Smiles

He makes me smile. Even from 187 miles away...he can make me smile. We haven't actually talked on the phone in almost a week...but we've been messeging each other on facebook. And...he just makes me smile. I'm planning another trip down there, because to be honest, I want to see him. I REALLY want to see him again. He said today that he misses me more than is probably healthy or smart since he is in austin and I am in fort worth. And, that was the most perfect thing ever. I am in the best mood right now, even though I still miss him, and I won't see him for a few more weeks. I wish this was easier, and that there wasn't a big physical distance between us, because then we'd really be together.

Starting something with distance is hard...I know. I did it for over a year, and we didn't make it. We weren't able to rally through, and we had no destination time for when we'd be together. I mean sure, there would be weekends after another year apart...but really, how do you build a relationship on that? He was completely in love with me, and I had reservations. Sometimes, however, I wonder if he was more in love with the idea of me, than of me actually. I know I was with him...for a time. Wow...that's depressing...lets leave that topic alone.

Grey's Anatomy last night...OH MY GOSH. I LOVE that show!!! SO good. And I love watching TV shows with Friends. The only show I watch that the girls don't watch is LOST. I need to get someone hooked on it so that I'm not watching it alone. I think I can get Anne...I hope so anyway! Well, for sure once we get a house that won't be a problem.

Speaking of houses...we get to start house hunting soon!! I'm so excited. =o)

Ok...time to get dressed and eat something so I can run some errands!

Suppa Club, Yall!

One of the things I look forward to and treasure the most is every Tuesday night a group of us get together to have 'Suppa Club'. Its a time for us to just hang out and talk and have a good meal. This week however, noone came forward to host. Instead we went out to Olive Garden. Let me just tell you, I had an amazing time. Absolutely fabulous!! Sometimes it really is the little things that you look forward to every week that make everything amazing.

I had to go to the eye doctor today because Sky scratched my eye yesterday. It hurt SO bad, and I could barely open my eye. Mom freaked out, so hence the visit to the doctor. She put some dye in my eye and said I was fine. haha. So, there goes $40 down the drain. Although, I'd rather spend that than find out later that soemthing was REALLY wrong with my eye. I'm kinda attached to my eye sight. But, I also talked to the dr. about perhaps getting a contact for my one eye that is 20/40 instead of 20/20. Its just bad enough to be annoying. Who knows though, I'd have to fork over $175 to do so. So, I tried to see if mom would pay for it, but she didn't bite that bullet. haha. Oh well.

OK...time to study or something along those lines.

hm...

Why is it that we spend so much time sitting in front of the computer when really the internet is so unrewarding?

Don't get me wrong, I love spending time on the net, I spend hours here every day. That's just it though, I could spend 10 minutes doing my routine...maybe up to an hour depending on how many emails I've gotten and how many people have updated their blogs/myspace/facebook/etc. But checking my daily routine of Gmail-Myspace-Xanga-Facebook-TCU mail-Blogger is an obsession. I check each of them at least 5 times a day. Not sure why....other than I feel the need to be connected to my friends. Well, one of my friends lives next door...about 5 more live in my complex...so really...why the need to spend so much time on the internet. I don't know...and I'm not going to change how I do things, just find it interesting because I realized today how unsatisfying it is for me to do this.

Just a thought.

I should be asleep

instead...i post these meme's.

1. How old will you be in five years?
about to turn 30...dang i'm old

2. Do you think you will be married by then?
who knows...but I'd really like to be

3. How tall are you?
5'5"

4.What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
my birthday, seeing Tyler again, getting ready to go camping!!

5. What's the last movie you saw at the movies?
Persuit of Happyness

6. Who was the last person you called?
Em

7. Who was the last person to call you?
Em

8. What was the last message you received?
text -- from Tiff saying "Boo" because I wasn't coming over to her place for prime time TV because I was in class

9. Do you prefer to call or text?
um...i'm a texter...for the most part. Unless it needs to be talked about.

10. Do you have any pets?
nope

11. What were you doing at 12 last night?
writing in my journal..

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
Very happily married...in fact they celebrate their 39th wedding anniversary this year!!!

13. When is the last time you saw your mom?
on Monday

14. What color are your eyes?
grey blue

15. What time did you wake up today?
at 8:35

16. What are you wearing right now?
jeans and a white tank with a pink sweater

17. What's your favorite Christmas song?
Oh Holy Night

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
With friends and family

19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
in a room with a roach

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere right now?
Austin. or Los Angeles

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
happy, and maybe in Africa...

22. Do you tan or burn?
burn

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
that someone would stab me in the back as i slept

24. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
David and I getting confused about movie nights

25. How many TVs do you have?
I own 2...but only one is at this apartment, my other one is sitting on the floor at my parents'

26. How big is your bed?
queen

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
laptop

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
depends on my mood

29. What color are your sheets?
tan

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
there are 5 on my bed...but I sleep on 2 at a time

31. What is your favorite season?
fall

32. What do you like about Fall?
when it is perfect weather for a long sleeved tshirt or hoodies, and the crisp smell in the air

33. What do you like about winter?
the smell of fires in fireplaces

34. What do you like about the summer?
no school

35. What do you like about spring?
going to the botanic gardens

36. How many states have you lived in?
2

37. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
4: Dallas, Irving, Fort Worth, Los Angeles

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
bare feet

39. Are you a social person?
oh yes

40. What was the last thing you ate?
a chewy chips ahoy

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Cheesecake Factory or Saltgrass

42. What is your favorite ice cream?
double dark chocolate with raspberries from marble slab

43. What is your favorite dessert?
brownies or homemade cookies

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
my mom's chicken tortilla or mom's chicken noodle.

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
grape

47. Do you like coffee?
sure do

48. How many glasses of water do you drink a day?
a lot

49. What do you drink in the morning?
water

50. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
someone else

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
yes, but i'm flexible and can change

52. Do you know how to play poker?
sure do, i'm a relatively smart poker player

53. Do you like to cuddle?
eh...depends on my mood...and who its with

54. Have you ever been to Canada?
nope

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
at home

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
not currently

59. Do you want kids?
yes...but not sure that I want to have my own, definitely want to adopt

60. Do you speak any other languages?
no

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
not that i can remember...but i have this memory of bumping my chin and needing them, but it may have been a dream - i have SUPER vivid dreams.

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
no, however one did come to check me out once when I had my bike accident

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
ocean hands down...i'm not a huge swimmer...so, yeah. At least at the ocean I can listen to the waves and look out at the majesty of the water

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat?
window so I can sleep against it

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
sure don't, i need to learn though

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
TV on DVD

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
nope, i take everything off when I sleep

68. What is your favorite TV show?
Grey's Anatomy, LOST, Gilmore Girls, American Idol

69. Can you roll your tongue?
sure can!

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
oh, i surround myself with funny people

71. What is the ring tone on your phone?
depends who is calling: Snow Patrol: chasing cars, The Fray: How to Save A Life, and The Ataris: Saddest Day

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
yeah at my mom's

74. What color are your bedroom walls?
boring white...but i don't have a choice

75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
no, i'm usually letting it warm up so I can wash my face

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
CLOSED...it freaks me out when its open

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
clearly a bear...I'd die faster. Or the bees b/c I could possibly survive...

78. Do you flirt with the opposite sex?
all the time...I'm a natural flirt and don't even always realize I'm doing it.

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
honey

80. What is your favorite food?
steak, cheese, pasta...mexican...i love food

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
technically i know how, but i've never actually done it

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
ugh, don't talk to me about this...I have a previous post on the subject though

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
no, but i like to drive my car until the gas light is on

84. What is your usual bedtime?
between 12 and 2

86. Do you read the newspaper?
nope...I can't stand the texture of newspaper...seriously I got the chills just thinking about it. It makes me crings. Think: nails on a chalkboard to most people.

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
RollingStone

88. Best comedian?
who knows

89. Do you watch soap operas?
nope

90. Do you think you are a pimp?
negative ghostwriter

91. Favorite fast food place?
taco bell or Whataburger...OOOOH...or In-N-Out

92. Ever been to Vegas?
many times...

93. Do you go to concerts?
i LOVE live music

94. Best concert you have been to?
Pat Green is always awesome...NSYNC put on amazing shows...as did Matchbox 20...ok really, this list could go on and on and on and on and on...I've been to close to 100 concerts minimum

95. Last time you flew in a plane?
oh wow...october when I went to hawaii

96. Met anyone famous?
sure have...when I worked at Cure Autism Now we had big events that celebs would come to. They were always really nice.

97. What will you be doing tomorrow?
babysitting Skylar!

98. How many snowglobes do you own?
i don't think i own any

99. Rode in a limo?
never...want to though

and another one:

001. When's the last time you ran?
uh...I run?

002. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
nope...

003. What are you dreading right now?
paying bills this month

004. Do you celebrate 4/20?
no way - never have, never plan to

005. Only child?
of course not!

006. Favorite ice cream?
double dark chocolate with raspberries and cherry garcia.

007. When was your last doctors visit?
it's probably been too long...I have this irrational fear of doctors

008. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?
depends on the night. usually closer to 6 or 7

009. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
depends. Less than 15 minutes most of the time. Unless I shower then at least 25 minutes.

010. "First Loves Are Never Over" is this true for you?
no. although I would say that I have some love for him, although i'm definitely not still IN LOVE with him.

011. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back?
unfortunately...maybe one of them.

012. If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would they find you wearing?
pj pants, t-shirt, no make up, messy bun

013. Who was your last kiss?
Tyler

014. Have you ever been on your schools track team?
I was asked to be on track in Jr. High...but I didn't want to go to practice all the time.

015. Do you own a pair of Converse?
no, but I'd love to!

016. Who did you cut and paste this survey from?
Kels

017. Do you eat raw cookie dough?
all the frickin time!

018. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?
I wouldn't doubt it.

019. Don't you hate when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over?
wow...I'm glad I don't listen to the radio enough for this to happen

020. Would you rather them play the whole video or just a clip of it on TRL?
currently I could care less about TRL. Back in the day I would have said whole thing.

021. Do you watch Trading Spaces?:
nah

022. How do you eat oreos?:
dunked in milk...or currently loving oreo balls (aka crack balls)

023. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone to sgn on?
i'm sure i have

024. Are you cocky?
i don't think so

030. Could you live without a computer?
sure could. I did when I was traveling Europe (although I did check my email at least 2 times a week...go figure)

031. Do you wear your shoes in the house?
not usually

033. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real?
I don't remember it being a big deal. And just for the record, Santa still visits every year...

034. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house?
well, in my apartment I guess there is 1 land line and 2 cell phones...

035. What do you do when you're sad?
talk to my best friends or write in my journal

036. Who would you call first if you won the lottery?
my mom

037. Last time you saw your best friend?
waaay too long...

038. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
umm...how I stress about things I shouldn't.

039. Last movie you rented?:
me personally? I think I rented Leprechaun three halloweens ago. I don't tend to rent movies.

040. Who/What sleeps with you every night?:
mr. monkey and my pillows

042. Pancakes or French toast?
depends. usually, french toast.

043. How do you like your eggs?:
scrambled hard, over medium, poached, fried...i love eggs

044. Are you in highschool?:
not in over 6 years...

045. Is anyone on your bad side right now?
kinda...but I don't think they know it

046. What jewelry are you wearing?
none, i'm getting ready for bed

045. What's the first thing you do when you get online?go through the email, myspace, xanga, facebook, tcu mail, blogger routine...

048. Do you own any TV seasons on DVD
?yes. Dawsons Creek S. 2 &3, Gilmore Girls S1 &2 & 4 &5, LOST S1&2, Grey's Anatomy S1&2, Felicity S1, OTH S1 &2, Firefly, Queer As Folk S1 & 4...

49. Do you watch grey's anatomy?
religiously...

050. How do most people spell your name?
D.e.b. cuz thats what most people call me. or, Debra cuz thats my name. Stupid poeple spell it deborah.

051. Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes?:
that would require me to have a boyfriend wouldn't it.

053. What do you do before you sleep every night?
brush teeth, wash face, read, maybe write in my journal

054. What was the first movie that gave you nightmares?
no idea...I don't remember specifically having a nightmare tied to a movie

055. Who's your favorite celebrity couple?
yeah, i don't really care.

056. Favorite 80's teen movie?
sixteen candles.

057. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson?
uhm. no. I don't see him as the child molester type...

058. Do you know anyone who wasn't born in the United States?
quite a few actually...

059. Favorite name for a boy?
i kinda love the name Landon...or Logan. Hm...

060. Will you keep your last name when you get married?
probably not...do you KNOW my last name? what a pain.

061. Your favorite restaurant you don't get to eat much at?
MELTING POT!!! and Cheesecake Factory (b/c its far far away)

062. When is the last time you left your house?
um...I left around 5:45 to go to class

063. Do you buy your own school supplies?
sure do!

064. Do you already have your school supplies?
actually, i need a new spiral and new pens

065. Have you ever cursed at a teacher?:
not that i recall...

066. How do you eat your steak?
its not good unless there is still some blood...although I'm not a fan when its rare rare...

068. How do you get to school?
umm i get to CLASS by walking up the hill

070. What noise do you hear?:i
the air blowing and the clock ticking the seconds

071. Would you survive in prison?:
yeah...probably not

072. Next concert you hope to go to?
well, i have GREAT tickets for snow patrol, but I have to sell them...sad

073. What was the last thing you ate?
chewy chips ahoy

074. When was the last time you said I love you and meant it?
to my mom earlier today

075. Who is the youngest in your family?:
me. well, technically my cousin is 6 months younger than me, and his wife is preggo...so, their son will win the prize soon.

076. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would be most likely to over pack?yeah, probably me...actually, we'd all be about the same.

077. Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
spelled differently...but, yeah.

078. How many syllables does your name have?:
two. unless we're going FULL name, then its 6

079. What does your license plate say?
letters and numbers, just like everyone else

080. When is the last time you ate peanut butter?:
hm...recently...a couple days ago? I LOVE PB!

081. What service is your cell phone?
sprint

082. What's for dinner?
don't know what i'll have tomorrow

083. What's the last thing you purchased?
lunch at Einsteins today

084. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you?
my sister spoils me rotten. i love it.

085. Where is your cell phone?
on the charger on my bed

086. Is your phone on vibrate or ring?
both.

087. What brand are the pants you're wearing?
uh...Levis i think

088. Ever been to Georgia?:
had a family reunion there in 98, and had a work thing there a couple years ago now.

089. Did you have breakfast this morning?
um...a granola bar

090. Do you like marshmallows?
in smores...and rice crispy treats...

091. What irritates you most on the internet?
pop ups... and getting viruses..thats annoying

092. What brand is your digital camera?
Casio...and i LOVE it...its pretty and skinny and black

093. Do you watch movies with your parents?
sure do.

094. Do you wear short shorts?
i rarely wear shors

095. Do you think you could be pregnant?
no chance of that

096. What song best describes your life right now?
eh...the one that does

097 Do you own expensive perfume?
i don't tend to wear perfume

99. Are you taking college classes?:
taking graduate classes...

100. Do your parents know you curse?
hahah, of course

101. Do they care?
nope.

102. Did you see Harold and Kumar go to WhiteCastle:
sure didn't

103. Have you ever been to White Castle?:
nope.

105. Do you like the Phillies?
do i care about the phillies?

106. Do you like sushi?:
nope...and i've tried it more than once. I have however rolled sushi before, which was kind of fun.

107. Do you get your hair cut every month?:
like i have the money to do that.

108. Have you ever made out in front of your parents?
oh yes, but thats a whole long story...and if you really want to know you can ask

109. Do you go online everyday?:
basically

Go MAVS!!!

Lakers 95

MAVS 114!!!!!

I love my Mavs!! They are awesome! There were some amazing plays tonight, and we deserved that win!! 33-8 so far this season and we're only half-way through. This is our year to win it all...I can feel it!!!

Has it really been a year?!?

A year ago today I began one of the best adventures of my life so far.

My bags were packed, and I anxiously awaited...oh, about now so that I could head to the airport where I was meeting my best friend and her family. The time had come, Emily and I were heading out to see the world. We had left our jobs, moved back to Texas from Los Angeles, we had warm clothes, a Eurorail pass, plane tickets, and our passports. We were ready to take on the world.

A year ago today I left the United States for 2 months backpacking through Europe with my best friend. A year ago today...I found myself on a plane to London, England. A year ago today, I never would have imagined that my life would be like it is today...a year later. A year ago today I found a part of myself I never really knew was there.

I miss a year ago today.

I'm glad to be where I am now. There is nothing I would change. I love the people (friends and family) who surround me, I love what I am studying in school, I love the churches I am a part of, I love the God experiences that I had all over Europe. And while, I'm not 100% certain who it is that I am today...I like what I am learning about myself...

A year ago today...as much as I like where I am...I can't help but wish I was jetting off today to foreign lands...to find myself, and God around the world.

Pondering

why do i do this?

sometimes i feel like a bad person even though I'm not doing anything wrong.

I wonder why that is.

Is it really wrong to try and be friends with someone when you know they want more? Funny how I can ask this and at the same time be both people in the situation with different guys. Makes me want to re-evaluate what I am doing, and really think about why...

School

HOORAY for school starting tomorrow!!!

I am so excited. Life is getting back to normal. Anne is home, and my first class tomorrow has 90% of my friends in it!! What more could you ask for?

Ice Ice Ice

Well, because of the iciness of the roads, I've decided not to go into work, even though they are showing it is ok to drive on the roads if you go really slow. I'm just really nervous about driving in it...cuz well, yeah, I don't EVER drive on ice. Yikes! I really need the money, but I really don't need anything to happen to my car...and I'd rather be safe than sorry, even if it does mean I'm going to be broke. Haha.

So, now I am going to go back to bed...I love sleeping late (even if I've gotten up early I can now sleep again).

Another Rant...

So I left Austin a day early because of impending weather. Well, I guess the weather hit a little bit, at least enough to make bridges and overpasses not safe to drive on. But, the rest of the roads are fine. But, because the bridges and overpasses are not safe (at least for us Texans who aren't used to winter weather) I am currently missing a party that is a joint birthday party for Tina, Chase, and I. UGH. I hate my life today.

And I'm missing HIM like crazy...and I didn't even call him today even though I wanted to...I'm just a chicken sometimes. I'm so afraid to show my emotions because too often I have been rejected because of me saying my feelings. He is different. I know that. But why am I still scared to say anything, or ask the question that I want to know most? Is it really the fear of his reaction...or my own fear of exposing myself to myself...If I don't ask him, I can pretend that I don't actually feel the way I do. However, if I put myself out there...its not just to get answers from him, but its me making myself be accountable for my own feelings. I don't know that I need this...not at all. But, do I really have a choice?

Sometimes I hate the Weather

Austin = AMAZING.

The weather that made me have to leave Austin a day early = EVIL.

I love Austin Texas. It is a city that is alive and fun. It is also a city that houses someone I care deeply for. Actually, a few someones...but I'm talking about one inparticular today. This is someone who I can sit in silence with and watch a classic movie, or yell at a football game with...or have a conversation so deep it gives you chills and ten minutes later we're laughing about something as random as farts. Its interesting...this connection. Its interesting because somehow at the end of this amazing weekend where we laid in bed watching movies and tv for hours, to having some drinks with friends, to walking the dog and making dinner...I was still referred to as the 'friend'. *sigh*. I should not let myself get wrapped up in things...it never fails that my heart gets stung a little bit. Not broken, cuz I don't let myself go completely...not this soon, but stung...cuz it always hurts to hear that when you've had a weekend that felt like so much more. I don't know where I stand on the issue. Actually...I know he feels the same way...but perhaps distance is the issue on that one? I could just ask him...but I'm scared, I'm scared of what answer the asking will bring. Am I ready for that? Are we ever REALLY ready?

I played disc golf today for the first time since my freshman year in HS. It was a BLAST. I need to play that more, seriously. Then maybe next time I go play with those guys I won't suck quite as bad as I did. But it was fun. There was this one hole, that when you step up at the beginning of it you get this perfect view of the Capital building sticking out of the trees. Breathtaking I tell ya. So I want to play here. I bet I can get Anne to go...and Katie too, although I don't know WHERE to play around here...but I bet it can't be that hard to figure out. And then there is that whole thing of buying supplies...hm...I shall look into this more for sure though. Good times.

Baby

So, I nanny for the most beautiful five month old girl named Skylar. I love children, but I do not want to have my own (at least not now...maybe ever), I'd rather adopt children. Some of my reasons are really selfish (i.e. I don't want to gain the weight) and some are deeper (i.e. There are so many children who don't have families who need them, I want to make as many as financially possible - my own).

But watching a baby grow up is truly an amazing thing. Skylar was born 5 weeks early, so on a lot of things she is developmentally a little behind her five months. She's very smart, don't get me wrong...but she should have been able to roll over at 4 months, and she hadn't. However...last week Skylar rolled over for the first time. What an amazing thing to witness! The wonders of new life never cease.

It is strange watching a child grow because on one level you want them to stay small...because they are so precious...but each new development is so amazing how could someone NOT want to witness that. It is amazing.

Babies are amazing.

Skylar is amazing.

blah

I've been in a weird mood today. Not really sure what is up...but I think I'm THINKING too much. I'm thinking about all these emotions I am having, and I'm not sure I like who I am sometimes right now.

Granted, for the most part I am happy, and I love the direction that God is sending me...but I am completely a work in progress...and sometimes that progress goes a little slower than I would like. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am just ready to get back into the process of school...I miss the structure that it provides in my life. I am about to start a second job, and that will be nice as well...should double my current income, which is amazing...maybe I'll be able to keep my head above water more, and maybe even get out of some debt! Which would rock.

Kind of a downer post...guess it goes with my mood. Maybe I should just go to bed, and hope for a better day tomorrow.

More travel opportunities

My sister just informed me that she may be going to India to work for 3 months! I think that is an amazing opportunity. My sister...not so excited about it. However, there is a chance that her company would fly someone over to visit her since she'll be there so long. In which case...I get first dibs! Wow...another chance to see the world!! Now, lets just hope this one pans out! It would be really cool if there was an orphanage near by that I could stop at and help for the day...that would rock. But, I suppose I shouldn't plan too much on that one, not even sure when it would happen.

I may start working with an 11 year old autistic boy. I am very excited about this possible opportunity. I miss working with my special needs kids. And hey, getting paid to do it would also be a nice benefit.

As much as I love having a month off from school, I am beginning to realize that I just don't do well when I have too much down time...so I called my mom yesterday kinda complaining about it just looking for something to do. So she came up with the idea to go see Body Worlds this weekend. I am really excited. It looks so cool, check it out: http://www.bodyworlds.com/index.html. So Mom, Sara, and I are heading over there to spend the day. That means I get free dinner as well! I love my parents, they spoil us!

wow

This totally cracked me up...my sister checks the website daily and lets me know when there is anything good...this one is one of my favorites!

New Years

I had an absolutely amazing new years. I was leery of it at first, but it turned out amazing. The party was great. It really was like old times hanging out with that crew and partying like rock stars. The super young people weren't there, and I knew 90% of the people there! Which was awesome, cuz there was a good 30-40 people probably. I drank champagne and was kissed at midnight. Had a few good long talks in the laundry room...and another one in the garage where it was FREEZING...but that may have been my favorite talk!

The boy left for Austin today. We had tentative plans for him to stop by my apartment today so I could say bye, but he ended up leaving his house late, so really didn't have the time to stop. Plus, there wouldn't have been anywhere for the dog to go. *sigh*. I miss him already, and way more than I expected to. I don't know...I don't know what I want from this, but I miss him and I saw him at like 3am. Go figure. Typical in my life....completely typical. Guess we'll see what happens.

Tomorrow hopefully I'm still having lunch with Nina. I love that girl...she's awesome. She'll be back in America for a month in March. I also got some good quality conversations with Kirby last night, which were much needed...but that boy confuses me. Eh...such is life. Love that kid.

Tonight supper club had an impromptu meeting and we had salmon and asparagus...it was extreamely tasty...I really loved it. So yay! Then we played Trivial Persuit Pop Culture. Jack and Peter totally creamed the rest of us...but Katie and I came in second, we were only missing one pie piece. Haha. It was great fun, with lots of laughter.

I miss Anne...and I miss Emily. I want my friends to come home...too bad I have NO idea when I'll see Em. I need to plan my trip to LA to see her, ASAP. That's what the new year is for.

My only 2 goals for this year are the same for 90% of Americans. I want to eat better and exercise more. Started eating right today...now lets just start working on that whole exercise thing.