LA

I lived in Los Angeles for about 2 years. Most times I am so glad that I am not living there anymore. That being said...I miss California. A lot. I don't know if it is just this time of year or what, but I really really miss it. This is the perfect weather to walk along the waters edge, just barely letting the water lap over my feed and feel the sun beating down on me. I love California in the Spring.

Mom and I have been throwing around the idea of going to L.A. this summer to visit Emily and to walk around the Grove, and on the beach, and go to Cobras & Matadors for dinner. We will also visit Lala's Argentinian Grill. All amazing, I tell ya. All amazing.

Spring break has been great. I spent the first part of the week camping with Anne and Jeff. It was frickin awesome. I got worried that the weather wouldn't cooperate with us. There was a huge storm that blew through right as we were trying to leave. It rained so hard and so fast that the street by my apartment complex was completely flooded for a good 20 minutes. The water luckily went down as fast as it came up, but it was still a little freaky. The same storm was headed right to where we were going camping, but luckily we got there after the storm and never saw a raindrop the whole time we were there. The weather was simply gorgeous. The sunsets were gorgeous. The fire was gorgeous. Spending time with my friends, was gorgeous. I loved it.

Last night we went out for Holli's 25th birthday. It was fairly awesome, and I loved it. I haven't hung out with her enough lately. I'm going to try to change that. I just get so wrapped up in school...but I shouldn't let that be an excuse to not take care of my friendships.

Today mom and I went to the Modern Museun for lunch. I love eating lunch there with mom. It's greatness. We had lots of great conversation. The one exhibit inside the museum that mom really wanted to see wasn't up, so we didn't actually go into the museum. So, instead we went to Barnes and Nobles and walked around looking at books we'd like to read, then stopped in at Starbucks. Perfect afternoon with mom.

Lots of random stuff...now I'm just going to relax and enjoy my last night of Spring Break. Tomorrow morning/afternoon I need to clean up, and do some homework. I'm sad the break is over so fast.

So...true story:

-i love my mom
-i love austin
-i crave feeling loved
-i hate crying, but need to more often as I get older
-i still think about a couple of my ex's
-past pain still effects me
-i love the rain
-Grey's Anatomy somehow makes a bad day better
-spending a whole day with one of my best friends brings a smile to my face
-'date nights' with friends are amazing
-i love wine
-i love monkeys
-I wan't Dr. McDreamy to be my doctor
-I can't wait for Easter weekend
-I need to lose weight...for real
-i bought lots of clothes today that i couldn't afford...
-i'm buying a tent and sleeping bag this week...that i also can't afford
-i'm having dinner with my parents tomorrow, and can't wait
-i miss him sometimes...and i'll never be able to tell him how much, and that kills me
-even though i miss him...i'm glad he's happy
-sometimes...just sometimes...i want to tell my secrets to the world...but know i never will
-i am so blessed...

and i'm about 88% sure that I failed this content exam that I spent tons of time studying for.

But...the entire class feels the same way...go figure.

I can't fail this class...I CAN'T. I've never never never failed a class, and i will not start now.

Random Update

So here's the thing. I can be somewhat of a perfectionist. However, I am also a huge procrastinator. Yet, I love how it feels to start studying for a test days or a week in advance, it helpe me to really feel like I grasp the information, but that goes against everything that is procrastination. So I feel a sense of disconnect. I really wish that more often I could find the motivation to not procrastinate and to spend so much quality time studying the information I am learning in my classes. The thing is, I LOVE learning, and when I take the time (like I have been for this second New Testament exam) I find how much I really love learning and grasping the information.

Kind of makes me wish i hadn't finished my ethics exam 16 minutes before it was due today. Especially since I do not at all feel comfortable with what I wrote. Granted, I sound intelligent on the exam, but did I really answer the question? No one knows. Everyone that I talked to today when we turned them in agreed that they had absolutely NO idea how they did on the exam because we were given very few peramaters on HOW to frame it. Guess I'll just have to wait until after spring break to find out. The good think about it is, I don't have to worry about it over Spring Break. For once all my midterms are before spring break not after. That is such a nice feeling.

And, now I am about to pass out. 4 hours of sleep last night is fading fast and I need at least 8 before playing with Sky all day , and studying all night.

I'm so ready for spring break...

Ethics

Ethics sucks. Not being ethical, just the class. My ethics class blows nuggets. Not a pretty picture...and not a pretty class.

I'm already exhausted and I only have the intro written for my 8 page paper, over 2 books, only 1 of which I understand. I have Bible Study in half an hour...hopefully it will help me clear my mind enough to come back and be able to pound out my paper by 1 or so. Not holding my breath, but it could happen. It may be a 3-4 am night tonight. I wish I had more discipline to get things done earlier....

Someday maybe. Someday I'll be able to rock and roll and get it all done.

Until then....I shall procrastinate a bit more...

15 IN A ROW!!!

So, i went to the MAVS game tonight! IT WAS AMAZING! This was a history setting game! 15th win in a row! 22 win at home in a row! We've only lost 9 games total this season! How amazing is that?!?

The Magic were ahead more of the game than i would have liked, and I was getting very upset that my boys weren't playing the way I wanted them to...but of course, the second half of the fourth quarter they decided to play a little ball, and we won! 103-98!

Seriously, one of the most fun games I have been to...and for it to be a record setting game, made it even better!

GO MAVS!

In Class

So, I should be paying attention, but in order to look like I am taking notes, I'm going to update my blog instead. I'm all stealthy like that. Then again, I'm sitting in the back row just like everyone else with computers, and none of us are taking notes. But I digress.

I have lots on my mind right now.

I went today to talk with one of my professors about finding a job. It ended up being a very unfruitful meeting. Only because there really isn't anything open, which I already knew. However, it did start to freak me out because I really need money. I'm not doing youth ministry just to get money, but I'm also doing it because this is what I love to do. There is one church opening up in TBA, and one of my friends got a call from them asking him to come interview. So, he is going in to interview. But, he has decided that he would rather not work in a white church. I have asked him to pass on my information, and he said he would.

Also today I got an email from my NTA area minister, and he asked me whether I was looking for a youth minister job as well. So, I told him yes...I really would rather work in TBA, I like it better...but if I don't get the TBA job, I'll take an NTA job so I can get money and do what I love doing. I just don't want to have to drive to Dallas all the time, and in TBA most of the youth ministers all go to school with me, so its great. BUT, I also have to not do things for selfish reasons and really listen to where God is calling me.

I'm scared about the ordination process. It's going to be hard. It's always hard. I'm really scared about going to get a psych evaluation. What if they tell me I'm messed up and I can't be a minister?!? I don't know what I would do, seriously. March 21 at 10 am....keep your fingers crossed for me that I do well there. I have to do well at that meeting to even be able to meet with the regional ordination committee. SCARY!!!

OK...maybe I should try to pay attention for a bit...