Even the best laid plans...

Yeah - I never made it to the gardens today. See...it all started with Anne made coffee here at the house. That means I didn't have to go to Sbucks because I have FREE coffee here. And I don't know what Anne does to the coffee - but seriously...she makes it so tasty!

I finished my homework in a timely manner - or what would have been a timely manner if I didn't get so distracted by Twilight Fic. I know, I know...I really should stop. But, its so fun to be in fantasyland for awhile. Believe me, you read enough Theologies of Religions and you need a break. Plus, I don't have any more chapters of Em's book...so I can't distract myself with her world - and Twilight fic is just so accessible. Seriously.

We have to post a question and our reasoning behind asking the question in my Theologies class every week. I kinda adore this class, I'm not going to lie. Reasonable amount of reading every week (no more than 50 or so pages)...and very thought provoking conversation. Anyway...my question for the week: "Does organized religion, in itself, limit God?" Ponder that for awhile. If for some reason that thought tickles your fancy - let me know your thoughts on it... I'll share if you do. =o)

I did, however, find a check for $100 written to me 4 years ago. That means I can't deposit the stupid thing...and I don't know how to get a hold of/don't care to get a hold of the person who wrote it. I never would have been annoyed had I never found the check. But I did...and now I want that money. Perhaps I'll do some investigating and mail the check back to the person with a letter that says "you asked me not to deposit this when you gave it to me...i realize its been 4 years and you probably never want to talk to me again, but I'd really appreciate it if you would send me a check I can now deposit. You weren't worth the money I gave you." Somehow though, I doubt that would be a very smart option. And, it's not a very nice thing to do. Instead - I'll just pretend that I did such a thing... and forget that I ever saw the check. I did keep it though...probably to torment myself about the fact that I should have $100. Doesn't matter that I long ago would have used the money. =o)

AAAAND...random: I made cookies tonight...ok, they were only break and bake - but sometimes the end of the evening warm fresh baked cookies are the best thing in the world. I'm just sayin...

Despite never making it to the gardens...today was quite a fabulous day...not going to lie.

I was looking for a poem that would say what I am currently feeling without me saying anything specific about myself. Guess that would be much easier if I knew exactly where to play my current emotion.

I plan to spend part of my afternoon tomorrow reading for class at the Botanic Gardens...by myself. I'm going to stop at Starbucks, and then head over with my blanket and book. I'm also going to take my journal and my SLR...with film. That's right, I'm going to go old school...I love shooting film. Digital is great, but there is something about film...a magic quality that you don't get with digital. Maybe part of it is the suspense of how the film will turn out....like waiting to see how God is working in life.

Part of my supervised ministry this semester I made a plan to better my personal prayer life. I wrote that I would do this something like 2 weeks ago, and I've only spent one day really doing what I said I would. Tomorrow seems like the perfect day to spend quality time with God. Perhaps that emptiness I feel will vanish, and relief and love and hope will replace it completely. I think a good afternoon alone with God is exactly what I need right now.

So many things are going so well in my life. I am challenged and I am pushed to grow. I am seen as a role model and a blessing. I am a friend, a daughter, a sister...
I am LOVED.

Two posts in one night - i don't remember the last time I did that.

I've just spent the past 45 minutes or so reading through this blog.

I've learned a couple things about myself:
1. I make a lot of list-y type entries (ha)
2. I complain about school a lot - but I actually love it
3. I sound way angstier than I actually think I am
4. Sometimes I was really vague about a person in the entry... and as I look back - I'm not POSITIVE who some of those entries were referring to. Especially one where I said I was going to go on a date... what? I went on a date? with who? why do I not remember this??? haha. maybe its better that I don't.
5. Sometimes I sound much smarter than I usually feel

Hm...I don't know why I felt the need to post this entry. But, I don't know. Stuff just strikes your fancy sometimes.

OK - back to reading Twilight fanfiction... because I'm obsessed....and this way Em can totally make fun of me. Some of it is REALLY good!!

Oh - and I totally told my HS youth tonight that if their parents allowed it (and if the movie theaters do it) that I would let them come to see Twilight with me at Midnight. This came up because one of my fabulous youth said that she can't go to Fall Rally because Nov. 21st is the day Twilight comes out. And she wasn't kidding. Haha. So, since I am as obsessed (and probably almost more-so) than the rest of my youth, I told them that I would take them at midnight if their parents allowed and as long as they promised to still wake up and go to school. Probably not the smartest decision I've ever made... but uh. I want to see the movie at midnight, and I want all of my youth at Fall Rally... Desperate times call for desperate measures. That's right - our dinner conversation at youth tonight consisted of TCU football and Twilight series (both the books and the movie!) I have the best youth group ever!

However, I officially have 1 boy coming to Chi-Rho, and if he comes back again (which, he said he will) 1 boy in CYF. That's right friends. HMCC will no longer be able to claim itself as an all girl youth group. Whatever will that do for our idea of pink and teal shirts?!?

Ok - I really try to not talk about politics too much in the public realm. Partially because I am a minister...and I like to keep some semblance of peace with people I come in contact with. Unless you're my friend and have a real conversation with me about it, then you'll see how passionate I can be (some weeks more than others)

Anyhow. I'm going to go out on a limb and post this anyway - because it makes me laugh...a lot...and every time I see it.

So...true story. Being a Divinity School student I spend a LOT of time reading all things religion. Anyway - one of my classes this semester is Christian Theologies of Religion. I love this class. It fascinates me and makes my head hurt at every turn.

Last week we read this poem...and I absolutely love it.

To the Unknown God (1864)
Once more, before I wander on
And turn my glance forward,
I lift up my hands to you in loneliness —
You, to whom I flee,
To whom in the deepest depths of my heart
I have solemnly consecrated altars
So that
Your voice might summon me again.

On them glows, deeply inscribed, the words:
To the unknown god.
I am his, although until this hour
I've remained in the wicked horde:
I am his—and I feel the bonds
That pull me down in my struggle
And, would I flee,
Force me into his service.

I want to know you, Unknown One,
You who have reached deep into my soul,
Into my life like the gust of a storm,
You incomprehensible yet related one!
I want to know you, even serve you.

--Nietzsche

Anyway. i think it is beautiful...and captures an essence that I think we all often feel...

Been thinking/praying with this poem tonight and thought that I would share.

My head hurts. Like, I've been getting my migraines a lot again. It comes in phases, and I'm not sure why NOW its getting bad again. It is very frustrating however.

I'm babysitting a new little girl. She is PRECIOUS, and I can already tell that I'm going to really enjoy watching her. She is crazy smart...and very very mobile for a kid her age. Plus, it pays well, so I can't complain about that.

Bought Grey's Season 4 today. Now I need to watch it. Not too much longer and the new season will start! yay!

I'm not very exciting today. Oh well.

RISK
Author unknown

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to others is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is to do nothing.

The person who risks nothing,
does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave,
they forfeited their freedom.

Only the person who risks can be free