Song of the Day

Currently I'm in a really weird mood and missing my best friend. I wish Easter wasn't so far away...although, this song has nothing to do with her...she introduced me to this band, and this song is awesome, and I suppose somewhat fitting to my life.

I Need
Jay Quinn Band

Take these walls,
The fences I've erected,
Tear them down,
Let the corner stone fall,
And are you sure,
Those questions that you're asking,
are you set
For the answers I give.

It's your turn
To let me in your thoughts,
And risk it all,
All that's vulnerable
and as I dig
Through all your little secrets,
Don't be scared about the things I'll find.

CHORUS:
Does anybody know you?
Does anybody want you?
Does anybody love like I do?
Does anybody need you?
Does anybody care?
I promise I will.

I won't judge,
I'm not looking for perfection
I am sure,
The truth is beautiful
And will you run,
Through all that I'm exposing
Will it satisfy all your fears?

Does anybody know you?
Does anybody want you?
Does anybody love like I do?
Does anybody need you?
Does anybody care?
I promise I will.

I said I've heard it all before
It depends on what side you're on
You say I'm outside lookin in
But don't think I know how it feels to be forsaken.

Does anybody know you?
Does anybody want you?
Does anybody love like I do?
Does anybody need you?
Does anybody care?
I promise I will.
Does anybody know you?
Does anybody want you?
Does anybody love like I do?
Does anybody need you?
Does anybody care?
I promise I will.

Baby's Firsts

I witnessed the most amazing thing today! Skylar sat up for the first time by herself! She was laying back and we turned on a Praise Baby DVD and she got all excited and sat forward to watch it better then stayed sitting! I don't think she even realized that she did it! It was SO awesome. It is so weird, its not even my child, and I'm as excited as her mom at all her firsts. I guess I do spend a lot of time with her as well. Strange how much she has changed in the last 3 months, absolutely amazing.

Photo 365

So, my awesome friend KJack told me about this project where you post a picture a day for 365 days....to document your whole life. Anyhow...if you want to check it out...you can find it here. It's fun! So here's to seeing how I see my life over the next year.

Song of the Day

Into the Ocean

Blue October

I'm just a normal boy

That sank when I fell overboard

My ship would leave the country

But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life that's sadly stuck again

Wish I was much more masculine

Maybe then I could learn to swim

Like 'fourteen miles away'

You're floating up and down

I spin, colliding into sound

Like whales beneath me diving down

I'm sinking to the bottom of my

Everything that freaks me out

The lighthouse beam has just run out

I'm cold as cold as cold can be

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard

I keep looking each direction

For a spotlight, give me something

I need something for protection

Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine

The jets, I'm sunk, I'm left behind

I'm treading for my life believe me

(How can I keep up this breathing)

Not knowing how to think

I scream aloud, begin to sink

My legs and arms are broken down

With envy for the solid ground

I'm reaching for the life within me

How can one man stop his ending

I thought of just your face

Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun

I calculate what I had done

Like jumping from the bow (yeah)

Just to prove I knew how (yeah)

It's midnight's late reminder of

The loss of her, the one I love

My will to quickly end it all

So thought no end my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all

Into the ocean, end it all

Into the ocean, end it all

into the ocean...end it all

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how

Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean

Let the waves up take me down

Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)

Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down

Let the rain come down

Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

(In to space)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

(I thought of just your face)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

just another day...

So I was talking to my mom today about some of my thoughts on stuff that happened last night...and she understood why I thought it was weird. She did too. That made me feel less petty somehow. I don't know...its still just strange.

I still haven't talked to boy since Sunday night. It really just makes me sad...I miss him. I know he's busy and he has other stuff...but why didn't he call on my birthday? And he still hasn't called today?!? That sucks!!! Oh well...I guess that's life. The problem is, I'm too scared to say anything because I don't want to mess anything up with him, but if he really cares for me, that wouldn't mess things up. I'm sure something came up...have i ever said how much I hate distance? Because I do.

ANYHOW...Classes today were...good I suppose. I got some really good feedback on the prayer I had to write for my worship class...that made me feel good, especially because I thought it was kind of weak. I'm still not 100% sure how someone can grade a prayer...but I suppose I'll find out!

I'm in kind of an annoyed/cynical mood at the moment...I should snap out of it. No really, I should.

I did find out just now that we are doing the tri-birthday bash on Saturday night to make up for the night of the ice storm! YAY!! And Lindsay is going to make cake...and we are going to have an awesome time. I'm very excited. As long as we don't get any winter mixture this weekend, I'm good to go.

Song of the Day

Hm...in honor of one of my oldest friends sending me an AWESOME CD of songs from our childhood days...

Step By Step

New Kids on the Block

Step by step

Gonna get to you girl

Chorus:Step by step ooh baby

Gonna get to you girl

Step by step ooh baby

Really want you in my world

Hey girl in your eyes

I see a picture of me all the time

And girl when you smile

You got to know that you drive me wild

Step by step

Ooh baby

Youre always on my mind

Step by step

Ooh girl

I really think its just a matter of time

Chorus

Hey girl cant you see

Ive got to have you all just for me

And girl yes its true

No one else will ever do

Chorus

Step one

We can have lots of fun

Step two

Theres so much we can do

Step three

Its just you and me

Step four

I can give you more

Step five

Dont you know the time has arrived

Today

So...Today was my 25th birthday. Well, Jan. 29 was anyway, guess I kind of missed that mark now, but I shall continue to pretend it is still my day. Spent my day with Skylar...I love that little girl...she is absolutely amazing and beautiful. Doesn't like green beans...so don't give them to her. She was just not fun after she had them. She also doesn't like peas...but those she throws up almot immediately. No green veggies for her!

Went to dinner and to Flying Saucer with friends tonight to celebrate. It was a good time. More people came out than I expected, which is a good feeling.

The one person I REALLY wanted a phone call from, I didn't get...and one that I wasn't overly expecting...I got. Funny how that works. And funny how they are best friends. Go figure. So feeling let down right now, but trying not to let it bring me down.

I'm 25...how weird. A quarter of a century...half way to 50...just seems strange. How is it possible that I am 25...so often I still feel like that 17 year old girl who is just starting my independent life. In a lot of ways I am still that girl...but in so many others, I'm nothing like her. Hm...yeah.

Lots to look forward to this week....it should be good.